Spring Blossom, Autumn Sorrows

Saturday, July 30, 2005

good news!

my student ju hui is back whahaha =D

now it's back to five..

no rest for me even after everything's over BUT STILL, i'ma v

happy*

anyway i finished my FAOM quiz & IJ,'

just hit 3 pages at the v bottom haha.

hope i will pass FAOM,

A,B,C,D whatever, gimme any 1 of those can le!

poh bi poh bi

she told the story ... 11:37 PM

life is full of excuses, reasoning and fault-finding.

pple are blinded with the present troubles,

so engrossed into it they dun give a damn to ur situation.

and everything has to be divided equally,

or they mark u down to hell.

now i see true colours,

and i learn how anxiety kills u.

i dun agree u face failures giving whatever u got to end it perfectly,

but i respect facing failures w/o fear and enjoying it.

champ u r so dang right,

u need extra exposure to become.

the pond is where u become the most ferocios fish,

but the sea kills u.

i suffer enough and is still suffering...

i wonder when will i truly 'become' and survive in the sea =/

she told the story ... 6:40 PM

well glad i pass MP, MR and CB.

FAOM ah.. xi wang ke yi na yi ge 'D' at least jiu hao le =/

need to redo MP IJ, partnership is a wrong selection.

need to analyse SPSS and type them in if i can, it saves our time on mon.

need to shortern my TOO LONG FAOM IJ, quiz is fine need to add some sentence make it longer.

1 too short 1 too long, hahaha ok fine lol.

need too study sociology..

ppl who hate memorise stuff DO NOT TAKE SOCIOLOGY,

it's worse when ur tutor is Mr David Teo,

alamak talk to wall, lazy want end lesson fast, super long breaks etc.

bad, just phooey nononooo~ haha..

some type of pple wif this particular attitude is really testing my patience,

to the extend i dun give in anymore like before & just 'kaboom'~

not telling here =P

she told the story ... 2:13 AM

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

i sprained my leg, actually is the ankle and feet area..

oh 'goodie' i'm now at home & not in school..

can't walk too much cos the bones and veins just hurt.

sianz i wonder how are the anlysis of SPSS going?

and is there any difference w/o my participating haha..

if no diff than i must have suck than,

need to buck up yeah,

and speed up.

now i finishing my FAOM IJ,

shit can't write much on PB2 cos' we havent done it yet lolx..

nvm leave them blank 1st.

phew, i'm glad i finish quite a number of IJ's cos if i dont,

i wont have chance to even smell them in the next few days cos i got work,

and MP quiz and sociology test,

eww, stinks!

p.s. i need to attend anger & depression management, can't hide any -ve moods anymore haha, siao liao~

she told the story ... 12:59 PM

Monday, July 25, 2005

never expected spss to finish at 5pm so late,

actually wanna discuss abt analysis,

but i guess nobody got the mood already, including me.

mp got errors at intro & segmentation,

a bit fed up the whole day over it,

but now i've decided to do all i can for the next month.

pls forget the previous posts,

it's all written in temporary anguish.. haha.

dun i wont delete it anyway.

glad i managed to finish a few IJs..

*i hope she's the last petty person on earth, brat.

now i hate the word 'lor' or 'loh' whatever u spell it...

eg. dun wan den dun wan loh.

phooey, i hate it when i use this, like as if i bey song like tt..

& this other she better show some respect,

ur fking mood got no fking biz w me,

dun throw it on me.

anyway rotiboy is nice, but can get sick of it.

i still prefer bubble tea (=

p.s. sorry i curse alot yeah, only do tt when thgs get over my limits..

she told the story ... 6:44 PM

Saturday, July 23, 2005

july and aug's is gonna be taxing,
8 projects to hand in before national day!!!
tmd poly is WORSE than jc esp when the most important things comes last,
& u have to chiong for the next 2 weeks!!!
i promise to be brutally truthful abt the course reflection,
I HOPE THERE'S ONE,
I DON'T WANT TO FACE THE SAME AGAIN IN 2.2, 3.1 & 3.2!!!
AND DUN GIMME A GONG TEACHER LIKE MA***N T**!
I DUN WANNA BE A FAKER & BE NICE TO THESE TEACHERS!
jia lat,
and aug is critical for me (proj due) & my students(CA2),
if i concentrate on studies my job might be gone & vice versa.
my dad telling me to organize my own time,
that's not what i want!!!
my mom pressure me 'go tuition la wait they dun want u le ur sch fees how?!'
that's not what i want too!!!
WHAT ABOUT ME NOW?
NOBODY thinks for me, nobody understands me,
nobody can help me,
only i can help myself
only i know myself.
i'm so tired & stressed-out in and out of sch in and out of me liao,
i couldnt even hold back my worries and tears in sch on fri,
i'm worried failing my tests,
i'm worried abt my indi & grp projs' date dues,
i'm worried abt losing students which in turn drain my dad's name,
i'm worried abt my dad's unsteady biz,
i'm worried abt this 2 frenz in sch,
i'm worried that my frenz will worry for me,
i'm worried i talk too much abt my worries,
i'm worried abt my socio test nxt wk,
i'm worried abt mp quiz NEXT WEEK,
i'm worried abt forgetting important things & dates,
i'm worried about my looks getting worse,
I'M WORRIED ABOUT EVERY BLOODY THING CONCERNING ME.
fucked.
i am seen as a human robot, always.
they think i can study and work like 'aiya no problem one la girl.'
'u can do it de, jia you!'
'good luck.'
double fucked.
WRONG!
to choose is to lose,
i'll now go finish all the indi proj & study socio tml morning till night,
just like a robot but forcing myself.
everythings a-ok, everything's fine,
i'm just scared that time is running faster than me,
i'm just sacred that i will go nuts and turn into another person,
i'm just scared that i will breakdown and give up on everything,
i'm scared of myself,
man, i'm paranoid,
just let me die.

she told the story ... 9:44 PM

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

yeah right, the time's 9.19 & i'm still in sch,

keying in my spss proj,

I HIT MY TARGET BY FINISHING' 50 SURVEYS WHEEeeEEeeee!!!

feel happy sia, it's 1/4 of the proj liao!

time check 9.20, 9.45pm lab will close & i gotta go le.

sianz my zip no space liao, gotta save in my email..

thumbdrive is so ex..

i might consider one, not now but in future.

tml i might buy some clothes for presentation w lian at night,

TM G2000 SALE 50%!!!

oh yeah tt sweet shit^5 bought me sandwhich to eat for dinner haha.

yeah i think when they see me they see a hungry person lolx,

thx for the yummy omelette sandwich xue lian!

ok time check 9.23, dang it's getting late liao i better continue my spss.

time check time check..

mr philip siao/siew/seow whatever,

i dun rmb names de loh whahaha.

tata~

*feeling energized today + a bit mad*

she told the story ... 9:24 PM

Monday, July 18, 2005

wow cant believe today we did proj from 10am in the morning till 7pm+ in the evening!!!

well minus break and lectures in b/w la diao.

strange, i was mentally awake but physically drowned..

managed to finish STP which was supposed to be handed in weeks ago..

and we did something SINFUL regarding something..

zui guo xui guo,

siam sin siam siam gogogooo fleeeew~

whahaha!

anyway i hope thur mr philip siow dun want the analysis just collate can liao.

and dang i hope i still rmb how to do SPSS!

doing it tml after sch..

anyway,

today doing proj i very gan jiong,

almost stay back after 7pm to do some SPSS,

cos i dont think we have any more time left liao.

people, FINISH YOUR INDIVIDUAL JOURNALS ASAP FOR COOKIE'S SAKE.

cookie? why put cookie's name? lolx..

poor dog,

always wanna play w/ me but i keep sitting down do my indi journal or sleeping..

play with u more on weekends and after my projects okie?

ooOOOooh holiday is AUG 19TH!!!

gonna count down now whahaha!

pple pia finals we pia and headache how to spend our holidays!

yi fen shou qian yi fen shou huo,

we deserve 8 projects for a longer holiday, hor?

i dun hate projects esp this sem..

it really wakes me up cos excercising my brain..

it stress me up but i'm used to it le,

plus i know when to stop and when to work haha.

haiz hope i pass all the mid-sem test..

>.<

she told the story ... 10:46 PM

Friday, July 15, 2005

i'ma like, si bey tired.

gonna peng kuai & pengz any sec..

proj, work & sch next wk soon..

somebody pls..

ask me to do somethg or whatever,

JUST destress mee >.<

she told the story ... 10:58 PM

Thursday, July 14, 2005

YESH!

ahh finali compleeteed muuh socioOologee paart!

woaaa tomowroww issh gonnaa bee ahh looonng daaee feer mee.

ok i'll stop for now the crap spelling.

dang tml i'm have to be at sch from 10am to choose my cds,

than 10-11am meet my sociology proj mates,

than 11- 4pm max meet my mktg proj mates,

than 6-10pm tuition.

WHHHOOOOAAA, i'ma dyingGGGggg >.

she told the story ... 10:57 PM

haiz..
finally we somehow completed the CB discussion,
tml doing sociology & MP.
hey pple tml's the day to chooose CDS,
joyce & xuelian & me decided put:
culture & expression, PSQ, ???, 20th century fashion or somethg & ???.
the ??? tml than think bah.
woa kau eh,
actually i wanted to do my sociology proj de,
but hor forgot to bring my book cannot do.
need to go home and chiong le the Words & Powerpoint,
good that my part is like a bit bit only!
actually also wanted to do CB /MP individual report,
but not confident with my ads & got distracted by the ppl in the sch lab..
sianz 1/2.

poor NKF,
keen can sprayed outside it's headquaters/office,
& i just print out someone's blog cussing & complaining abt NKF's boss,
who earn $25K per month with almost 1 yr's bonus,
& still seat 1st-class airplane somemore lolx...
i think that fellow wrote this in a rush of anger,
forgot that NKF is a non-profit organisation,
& why they need the locals help & stuff.
but whatever it is, i dun support him/NKF,
i sit on the fence (=

she told the story ... 4:56 PM

Monday, July 11, 2005

i can't stand this dog, he's too cute (=

she told the story ... 5:51 PM

Saturday, July 09, 2005

HAHA!
my fever has subsided liao whooo!
but the doc scolded me i still dare to drink coke leh, kaoz.
just now went eat mc w/ jeffery,
regconise him by his eyes, man i like his eyes so BIG & twinkling!
so cute i kept forgetting he's 4 yrs my senior HA.

tml's sunday, time to catch up w/ stupid asshole & later,
try to touch my CB individual journal..
Nononoo, not cursing this project but CB=Consumer Behaviour okie.
oh yeah i finished all the quizzes for sociology le YESH!
this morning do, woa pek chek loh must see textbk & answer the ques..
drove me crazy i play cs shoot all the stupid terrorists!
oh ya the london underground bombings is so TERRIGIBLE, HORRIGIBLE!
kuku terrorists, want fight fight face-to-face lah,
secretly bomb the subway like sneaky snakes,
phooey lah.

and the maid kill the angry 'mum',
and that women body being tok in pieces thrown everywhere,
now cant find her feet put a fake one so can burn the body..
my ma say her neighbours heard crys from a woman after 7 days when the spirit returns,
wooot.
haiz why are ppls so siao de neh???
most after money, power & sex,
or lose control of anger than become siao.
if only we live in the caveman age..
.......
HECK NO WAY!

haha, i like watching news more & more liao,
dun wanna be a stupid asshole frog in a sadako-inhabited well =)

she told the story ... 10:38 PM

Friday, July 08, 2005

mid sem tests are finally OVER!

no more exams from now on, but many projects loh.

let's wrap up all the tests i've gone thru':

CB: sianz last ques 16m flew away le.. misread ques -.-

FAOM: concentrated too much on difficult stuff easy ones come out i forgot liao -.-

MR: ok paper, was shocked & scared in the beginning cos nothing i read from notes is same as ques, but than it was smooth just made my own deifinations for some ques lol -.-

MP (today): ok paper also, i shouldnt erased what i wrote cos now i regreted it -.-

WELL, regret or not, it's all OVER, OVER means OVER,

no point worrying about it,

gotta proceed to projects liao.

haiz, holidays next week = no holidays, need to do projects & 200 surveys outside -.-

plus 4 individual reports, plus I-SOC online quiz, plus APEL shit..

WOA LAO!

whatever la.

well just came back from changi airport!

ate sakae sushi using cecilia's coupons & swensens!

total spend less than $10 whahaha.

than we took more than 1 hr take pix pix & more pixxx,

but can only show it when cecilia can put the pix into her com,

her com 'piak' liao lol.

had a great night =)

but.. when i went to the airport,

i somehow dont feel i belong there,

everything's so expensive..

the food i ate, all is so expensive..

buy 1 air tix can kill my whole family liao..

i used to eat swensens like nothing there when i was young,

and eat at 'jiu lou' & buy all the expensive stuff like burning money..

now...

hai, wo reng ming ba..

just live day by day, hor =)

oh yeah i just cut & reborn my hair like 3 days already le,

looks not straight like ruler but i'm happy to get ride of my usual dry hair le,

that's all i yearn for.

but celin ask me go back since i can go back do again,

but i lazy le and so mah fan..

see 1st bah, hor =)

she told the story ... 11:16 PM

Monday, July 04, 2005

came back home after revising FAOM w/ cc, lian & joyce..
heng ah got revise w/ them if not i gong gong dai dai dunno wth FAOM is abt lolx =P
thx girls!

CB mah.. sianz 1/2 loh.
becos i rushing against time,
and i misread the question,
i lost 16marks for last ques for CB..
dang i can answer it if i didnt misread the questions!
but nvm,
be fatalistic like the mexicans,
what done is done, face it bah hor?
i'll be more careful but not too slow for the rest of the tests >.<

1hr paper.. time IS sooOoOoo precious!
i hope everyone + me will pass ALL the tests =)

minasan ganbatteshyoo!!!
* let's jia you everybody lah gong lolx..

she told the story ... 9:10 PM

Saturday, July 02, 2005

yeah my flu has gone a bit,

just that the tissue box has gone 1 whole chunk of it lolx.

heng ah i took 3 panadols since morning till now & nap a for 2hs,

if not my fever will rise de loh.

well i feel that revising is kinda fun,

cos i didnt force myself to revise with a heavy head whahaha!

yeah mOOd is important to me =)

now slack a bit & play w/ cookie 1st heex..

cookie, good 'de-stresser.'

*happily waiting for tests to come

she told the story ... 9:18 PM

Friday, July 01, 2005

whahaha i come back blog again!

slept just now from 8-10pm,

woa my room so HOT despite the fan blowing in my ass alamak,

didnt sleep lah just lie and close eyes for whole of 2hrs,

so flu mah no mood to study,

brain is 'clogged' lolx.

just woke up not long ago and feel so..

--- R E F R E S H E D ---

well tml is sat doesnt matter whether i study at night & slp in the day right?

WHAHAHA.

*crazy =x

she told the story ... 11:21 PM

flu man today,

after last night's auper 'ah chooOOOoo'!!!

than back muscle stretched,

than now super flu.

both eye bags in pain, becoming shaggier as day passes..

dun care much liao about my appearence =/

haiz now head kinda heavy, eyes feel like closing, nose suffering like tap water..

dun feel like studying.. but so much to cover.

study early also useless, i shall stick to 'last min chiong' bah,

it's my tradition since sec sch lolx.

i hope to do good in mid-sem,

better than last sem =)

she told the story ... 7:46 PM