july and aug's is gonna be taxing,
8 projects to hand in before national day!!!
tmd poly is WORSE than jc esp when the most important things comes last,
& u have to chiong for the next 2 weeks!!!
i promise to be brutally truthful abt the course reflection,
I HOPE THERE'S ONE,
I DON'T WANT TO FACE THE SAME AGAIN IN 2.2, 3.1 & 3.2!!!
AND DUN GIMME A GONG TEACHER LIKE MA***N T**!
I DUN WANNA BE A FAKER & BE NICE TO THESE TEACHERS!
jia lat,
and aug is critical for me (proj due) & my students(CA2),
if i concentrate on studies my job might be gone & vice versa.
my dad telling me to organize my own time,
that's not what i want!!!
my mom pressure me 'go tuition la wait they dun want u le ur sch fees how?!'
that's not what i want too!!!
WHAT ABOUT ME NOW?
NOBODY thinks for me, nobody understands me,
nobody can help me,
only i can help myself
only i know myself.
i'm so tired & stressed-out in and out of sch in and out of me liao,
i couldnt even hold back my worries and tears in sch on fri,
i'm worried failing my tests,
i'm worried abt my indi & grp projs' date dues,
i'm worried abt losing students which in turn drain my dad's name,
i'm worried abt my dad's unsteady biz,
i'm worried abt this 2 frenz in sch,
i'm worried that my frenz will worry for me,
i'm worried i talk too much abt my worries,
i'm worried abt my socio test nxt wk,
i'm worried abt mp quiz NEXT WEEK,
i'm worried abt forgetting important things & dates,
i'm worried about my looks getting worse,
I'M WORRIED ABOUT EVERY BLOODY THING CONCERNING ME.
fucked.
i am seen as a human robot, always.
they think i can study and work like 'aiya no problem one la girl.'
'u can do it de, jia you!'
'good luck.'
double fucked.
WRONG!
to choose is to lose,
i'll now go finish all the indi proj & study socio tml morning till night,
just like a robot but forcing myself.
everythings a-ok, everything's fine,
i'm just scared that time is running faster than me,
i'm just sacred that i will go nuts and turn into another person,
i'm just scared that i will breakdown and give up on everything,
i'm scared of myself,
man, i'm paranoid,
just let me die.