some pple are so cocky,
so scared of loneliness,
and wants attention.
what a kid.
well,
i still like achievement in a humble way =)
now trying to length (improve) on our GRC project.
it's the last piece of brainstorming and our group is done!
except the presentation slides and actual presentation,
and then comes the NAFA,
and it's CHINESE NEW YEAR!
borrowed 2 story books from library.
one is about this lawyer who forgot to allow her client (a big city bank) to sign a security form,
and on her promotion day,
she found our the form is on her desk,
4 months old,
and the bank lost $50 million to lending money to a construction company.
the construction company went burst,
and the bank siao siao lost a good $5,000,000 lol.
then this lawyer went emotional,
rushed out of the office and got lost in the streets.
she drank and got bad headache,
konocked on a rich resident's door (mansion),
and the lady of the house opened and said,
"are you from the agency?"
still blur, sibey emotion and heck care liao,
the lawyer wanted panadol and a rest,
the next day she work up as a...
maid,
from some agency.
funny thing is,
she don't mind,
she just dun wanna go back to the lawyer firm.
next funny thing is,
she is a nu qiang ren (workaholic),
she is a housework-idiot who don't even know how to on an oven.
and when she was drunk the night before,
she said she can cook italian dishes and her famous egg benedict.
i shall see how she survives!
in the end i think she found her love too,
maybe is at this rich resident's place.
another book is a detective one,
read liao, interested then introduce haha.
oh ya,
been playing gunbound,
and saying "hablo espanol no muey bien" to those south american players.
(which means "i dun speak spanish very well)
so irritating,
yet fun.
will keep quiet in future and concentrate killing them.
spanish is good man,
and sounds romantic.
spanish is funny,
for exmaple "speak"-
hablar - to speak
hablo - i speak
hablas - you speak
el habla - he speaks
ella habla - she speaks
hablamos - we speak
hablais - you all speak
ellos hablan - they (boys) speak
ellas hablan - they (girls) speak.
interesting?
what is more interesting,
is that everything is seen masculine or feminine in spanish.
el (subject) for masculine,
la (subject) for feminine.
e.g.
lemon is masculine,
i dunno why but its el limon.
say limon only you confuse people,
must be el limon.
for pear,
is a "she",
so is la pera.
why i like spanish?
cos it's sibey close to english,
in fact older than english.
english is derived from spanish.
oh ya!
ella from S.H.E. her name means "she" in spanish,
girl la,
but dun see it very girlish lol.
i like this girl,
stands out from the rest =)
i feel shy when pple acknoledge my pressence or job done,or anything i do or say.this is important for work in future,for identity and promotion,but not my priority now.the first person i wanna satisfy is..
myself.
if i cant get thru this,
i can't continue to showing pple what i can do.
i dun love myself to some great extend,
i am not a perfectionist,
i am not a hardworker.
i am a believer,
in myself,
and others.
i am no achiever.
seeking acknowlegement is lack of confidence,
which is a weakness,
and an opportunity.
to me,
doing everything at your best,
without guilt or regrets,
not deceiving to oneself,
is the most important.
this is how the word "humble" come about,
this is strength.
but after receiving some profiling from a friend,
i think i will balance seeking acknowledgement from others,
and myself,
in a ratio of 5:5
(depend on situation and mood lol)
don't ya feel guilty and scared of others' opinions if you don't put ya heart to complete a job in the first place?
it is always yourself your conscious is judged at.
people are born with brains and mouths,
to think bad stuff and shoot poison,
to hurt you.
this kind of people...
just ignore.
no need to please them at all.
well,
i do do things quietly at times,
it's ok if pple dun see it,
or know it,
or feel it,
or even think about it.
i love covering blanklet over my mom when she naps in the afternoon!
so,
my philosophy of acknowledgement is actually:
accepting myself > being accepted by others.
why?
i know people's comments hurt,
so i dun care.
avoidance?
not really,
i dun DUN care everytime,
i do listen and correct.
being quietly active..
ahh..
that's why i'm vulnerable,
to being used, disposed in memory, neglected as a friend or kenna "bullied".
that's why i'm staying strong,
at whatever i do in life.
acknowledgement,
is only a matter of balance.
life is short,
dun bother about anything unimportant.
you are surrounded by people to stress you or give you happiness,
really.
oh man,
if i continue about this topic,
i will be supporting and contradicting myself.
so balance.
Happy New Year everybody.
another year of thinking and action haha =)
