myself.

if i cant get thru this,
i can't continue to showing pple what i can do.
i dun love myself to some great extend,
i am not a perfectionist,
i am not a hardworker.

i am a believer,
in myself,
and others.
i am no achiever.

seeking acknowlegement is lack of confidence,
which is a weakness,
and an opportunity.
to me,
doing everything at your best,
without guilt or regrets,
not deceiving to oneself,
is the most important.
this is how the word "humble" come about,
this is strength.

but after receiving some profiling from a friend,
i think i will balance seeking acknowledgement from others,
and myself,
in a ratio of 5:5
(depend on situation and mood lol)

don't ya feel guilty and scared of others' opinions if you don't put ya heart to complete a job in the first place?

it is always yourself your conscious is judged at.

people are born with brains and mouths,
to think bad stuff and shoot poison,
to hurt you.
this kind of people...
just ignore.
no need to please them at all.

well,
i do do things quietly at times,
it's ok if pple dun see it,
or know it,
or feel it,
or even think about it.
i love covering blanklet over my mom when she naps in the afternoon!

so,
my philosophy of acknowledgement is actually:
accepting myself > being accepted by others.
why?
i know people's comments hurt,
so i dun care.
avoidance?
not really,
i dun DUN care everytime,
i do listen and correct.

being quietly active..
ahh..
that's why i'm vulnerable,
to being used, disposed in memory, neglected as a friend or kenna "bullied".
that's why i'm staying strong,
at whatever i do in life.

acknowledgement,
is only a matter of balance.
life is short,
dun bother about anything unimportant.
you are surrounded by people to stress you or give you happiness,
really.

oh man,
if i continue about this topic,
i will be supporting and contradicting myself.
so balance.

Happy New Year everybody.
another year of thinking and action haha =)